Without You
by the real Violet Parr
Summary: Leopardfur mourns her beloved mate Whiteclaw and wonders how she will survive without him.


This may seem a bit strange that I am writing such an angsty story so soon after writing a fluffy High School Musical story, but believe it or not the ideas for both this story and that one came to me in the same night. Ever since I read _Fire and Ice_ I've always had a theory that Whiteclaw was Leopardstar's mate. Perhaps it's an irrational theory, but I don't care. The vivid image of her calling after Whiteclaw as he fell down the gorge has stuck with me, so finally I decided to do something about it. I wrote this and it almost made me cry, something none of my stories (and very few of others') have made me do before this. So, I hope you like it.

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_The gray ThunderClan tom and Whiteclaw were locked in battle. Around her Leopardfur could hear the sounds of other cats fighting, but she herself was frozen in place. She realized with horror that the two cats were rolling toward the edge of the gorge. "Whiteclaw, let go of him! Run!" she tried to yowl, but the words seemed stuck in her throat._

_Then it happened, just as she knew it would - just as it had. Whiteclaw slipped over the edge and the ThunderClan tom almost followed him. Leopardfur saw a white paw gripping the edge and the gray tom trying to grab it in his teeth and then...a terrified shriek split the air as the paw disappeared._

_Leopardfur found herself suddenly capable of movement again. She tore over to the edge, but saw nothing except a dark head sinking beneath the foaming river. "Whiteclaw! No!"_

Jerking awake, Leopardfur found herself shaking. She looked around and saw many of her other Clanmates in the warrior's den - Mistyfoot, Blackclaw, Stonefur - but Whiteclaw wasn't there. Her terrible dream was reality...her beloved mate was gone forever.

As she felt her heart begin to stop racing, Leopardfur wondered once again why StarClan had chosen to take Whiteclaw away from her. _Why him, StarClan? He was so young and strong, and brave. Why him and not the ThunderClan warrior?_

When the accident had happened Leopardfur had felt almost numb, as if she did not inhabit her body any longer. She heard herself saying icily to Tigerclaw, the RiverClan deputy, "This has gone beyond a border fight. We shall return to our Clan. It has become a matter to settle at another time and in a different way." Then she had led her warriors away, her movements wooden and unnatural.

Ever since that nightmarish day she'd attempted to maintain her composure, hiding her grief from her Clanmates. Even Crookedstar believed that she had recovered and he acted as if everything was normal - as if Leopardfur's life would ever be normal again.

She left the warrior's den and slipped out of camp, padding out toward the gorge. Sometimes at night - when no other cat could see her - she'd go there to think about Whiteclaw. At the edge she carefully leaned down and though she could not see the river far below, she heard the echo of the rushing water.

Suddenly a fresh wave of grief swept over her and she yowled, "Whiteclaw!" in a voice torn with pain. It echoed hollowly down the canyon and through the trees. She closed her eyes and imagined him here with her, his dark pelt brushing against hers and their tails entwining as they shared tongues.

_When she'd been selected as Crookedstar's deputy Whiteclaw had been thrilled for her. "You'll be a great deputy," he had mewed encouragingly. "The best ever. And then you'll be the greatest leader in the forest."_

_"And you will be my deputy," she'd promised. "Together we will make RiverClan more powerful than it has ever been."_

The call of an owl brought Leopardfur back to the present. She opened her eyes and hissed with frustration at herself. _Stop thinking about that! Those plans will never happen now. He's gone. Accept it, mousebrain._

But she couldn't. Her heart still ached with longing to see him again. She didn't know if she could go on without him.

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Many moons later, Leopardfur headed to Highstones with Mudfur - RiverClan's medicine cat - to receive her leader's name and nine lives. Crookedstar had gone to join StarClan the day before, after battling a sickness for several moons. Now Leopardfur was to be Leopardstar, leader of RiverClan. This was a bittersweet though for her; of course she was confident she would serve her Clan well as its leader, but she missed Crookedstar dearly. And now the throb of pain and grief for Whiteclaw that she had managed to bury for a long time had resurfaced, for she knew Whiteclaw would never be her deputy as they'd planned.

She padded into Mothermouth alone, Mudfur remaining at the entrance. As she had done so many times before with Crookedstar, Leopardfur lay down, pressed her nose to the Moonstone, and closed her eyes. Patiently she waited for StarClan to send her to sleep so they could meet with her in a dream.

A moment later she opened her eyes and found she was standing in an open field with no trees anywhere around. Her first instinct was to feel uncomfortable - as a RiverClan cat, she was accustomed to trees and the sound of the rushing river - but then she realized she was dreaming. Above her head Silverpelt shone brightly in the ebony sky.

Then suddenly Silverpelt began to move and swirl in the sky. It dipped down until a path of twinkling silver led down to the ground where Leopardfur stood. She saw the luminescent cats of StarClan descending to earth on it. When their paws touched the earth they left a shimmering frostlike print behind them. StarClan spread out in front of her and she waited for them to speak.

"Welcome, Leopardfur." The sound came from all the starry cats as one but it appeared that none of them had made a sound. "Are you ready to receive your nine lives?"

"Yes, I'm ready," Leopardfur replied, suddenly recognizing several cats among the ranks of StarClan who were very dear to her such as her mother Spottedflower and her mentor Lightfoot.

Seven cats she had known during her lifetime came forward in turn to give her a life, including her mother and mentor. Then a very familiar cat stepped forward.

"Whiteclaw," Leopardfur gasped. "I've missed you so much!"

His amber eyes held the softness they always had whenever he had looked at her, as well as the wisdom he had earned as a member of StarClan. As he touched his muzzle to her forehead just as the other cats before him had done, he murmured, "With this life I give you love. Use it well for all the cats in your care, Leopardfur."

She felt pure, sweet love coursing through her at his touch and felt a sense of peace overwhelm her. Suddenly she knew she would be able to survive without him on earth and that he would always be watching over her from Silverpelt.

After Whiteclaw's life came her ninth and last from Crookedstar, and with it he gave her nobility, certainty, and faith. The cats of StarClan hailed her by her new name, "Leopardstar! Leopardstar!"

Musing in awe over her new status, Leopardstar did not realize she was back in Mothermouth until she blinked and found herself standing with her nose pressed to the Moonstone. Never again, she knew, would she feel that agonizing longing to see Whiteclaw again...in its place was a warm sense of peace. _Whiteclaw, I promise to be the greatest leader in the history of all the Clans, for RiverClan and for you. And I will never forget you, never._

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I couldn't decide how to end it properly, so I apologize if it's a bit sudden. And I didn't bother to write out the rest of the leader's ceremony because I'm very lazy. :) Review if you like. I will like you for it._  
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